Match Report: Old Southendian 1s 8–0 Luton Town 1s

Old Southendian 1s delivered a dominant performance on Saturday morning, cruising to an emphatic 8–0 victory over Luton Town in the East Open – Men’s Division 1 South.

The day didn’t start in the most professional fashion, however. With pushback looming and only 12 players available, two slightly glassy-eyed figures – Billy and Giles – appeared looking like they’d had a very committed Friday night. Realising the squad was dangerously thin, the pair did the sensible thing and called for reinforcements.

Enter Timmy, making his long-awaited return to the side. Heroically answering the call (and possibly still wondering why he agreed), Timmy boosted the numbers and the spirits before the first whistle.

Once the game began, Old Southendian quickly showed that despite questionable pre-match preparation from some quarters, their hockey was in excellent shape.

Alfie Hibbard opened the scoring after just 5 minutes, calmly finishing a well-worked move. Five minutes later he doubled the lead, slotting home again to make it 2–0 and set the tone for the morning.

Benjamin Cotton added a third from a penalty corner on 15 minutes, before Hibbard completed his hat-trick on 25 minutes with another clinical finish.

Southendian continued to pile on the pressure. Cotton grabbed his second at 38 minutes, before Giles Davies added the sixth on 42 minutes. In fairness, it was a very tidy finish—leading many to wonder if perhaps Giles should consider a night out before every match, as it seems to have finally helped him find his shooting boots.

The second half carried on in the same fashion. Tim Robinson marked Timmy’s return to the squad with a goal on 50 minutes, sparking celebrations that may or may not have been louder than the night before.

Finally, Jack Andrews wrapped up the scoring on 55 minutes, putting the finishing touch on a comprehensive 8–0 win.

Man of the Match deservedly went to Alfie Hibbard for his superb hat-trick and all-round attacking performance.

Meanwhile, the prestigious “Jos” (Jack Head) award went to Jack, for reasons that teammates will no doubt continue to remind him about for weeks to come.

All in all, a brilliant performance from the team—though next week the captains may consider adding a hydration policy to the pre-match preparation. ??