It’s early days but it’s good to see us top of the table on 6 points… well done chaps.

A slightly different lineup this week...we lost Elvidge Saturday morning; apparently he sustained a twisted knee at his morning Zumba class, Clarkie was lost to a debilitating gardening incident, and Rhino was otherwise engage in some sort of social thing ??‍♂️

However the return of the evergreen Nasher, Huckleberry Rob from a broken wrist, and ever reliable Ged stepping in to give us cover for the frail meant we went into the game lacking pace but no little amount of savvy.

Stubbo was obviously feeling a tickle creative this week with an inspired formation - 3 up front, 3 at the back and 4 in mid field (2+2) as a kind of square box or morphing trapezoid type thing.
Without having seen the ‘General's’ notes and magnetic strategy board before the game I’m not sure exactly how the battle plan was intended to unfold?… but it seemed to work!

The opposition was loaded with young skilful players but seemed perplexed with the odd formation and the first half saw them unable to penetrate the midfield's hermetically sealed box.

Their confusion was probably also compounded by all four mid field players sporting bald heads like a group of identical shaolin monks - they beat one of them and then the same one was in front of them again and again like some sort of witchcraft.

Our first goal was about a quarter of an hour in. A straight ball up the middle of the pitch from Pedro that looked like it was outpacing Tim but it seemed to slow perfectly and Tims gentle adjustment of its path steered the ball beautifully between keeper and post for our first.

The second came just before the half hour; I put the ball into Tim but his shot was saved by the keeper at close range. The ball came off the keepers pads only about a metre where it was met by the incoming and energetic Nick who deftly finished the job. 2 up, half-time.

During the break the opposition had obviously had a chat, had agreed that there was no sorcery involved, and our midfield monks were definitely four distinct middle-aged individuals and not the casting of some sort of cloning magic.

With this revelation held close, Old Loughts started the second half with more conviction and did, on occasion, get through to our back line, or the Siegfried Line as it was labelled on Stubbo’s magnet board.

Although not constructed of reinforced concrete pillboxes, barbed wire, minefields, artillery tunnels, and "dragon's teeth" as per the actual Siegfried Line, our defence was solid and the occasional onslaughts were repelled.

The only one chink in this was a penalty awarded against us.

A very strange affair; initially it looked like their taker was going to take a run up at it but then he stepped up and addressed the ball. The whistle was blown twice and then nothing. It seemed like their taker was frozen in time, long seconds passed, tumbleweed blew across the pitch, shadows moved noticeably across the ground yet still no movement whatsoever.

Even our keeper was contemplating having a sit down on the back board while he waited. Was he in a trance, had he had a seizure or was it narcolepsy? We may never know but just when Holmsie was about to quiz the umpire on what was occurring, there was movement. A weak shot, shoulder height which was casually batted away by Steve.

Our third goal came around the hour mark. A bit of a messy goal mouth scuffle that came to Nick for his second.

Even with legs that were a lot older than the oppo’s, and more susceptible to fatigue, we were still much the better side and fully deserved the win.

Given the success of loading the midfield with a 3.4.3 formation this week, I hear the General is considering a 2.6.2 formation for the clash with Havering next week?

Man of the Match: Nick
Jacket of Shame: Elvo

Honourable mentions: Jerry for an imperious return marshaling the back line;Pete for tying everything together in the middle: Steve Smith for tireless work high on the left.

Fessey-0