Phantom Limb

Vinted Victory: 4–1 Win for the Ladies 3s

Chelmer Park – 10am Pushback
Final Score: 4–1 (Goals: Shireen, Ros, Emily, Alice)

Ah, the 10am pushback at Chelmer Park. Some people love it. I, personally, do not. But hockey is a team sport, and apparently, it’s not about me.

We came into this one after two narrow losses and a conceded fixture, so a win was well overdue. Spirits were high, even without our regular captain, and Ali led the team brilliantly, calm, organised, and exactly what we needed.

We started strong and structured, everyone putting in the work. With a squad stacked with defenders, you’d think we’d sit deep, but no. When two of the OG defenders head up front, anything can happen.

Before we get into the action, let’s talk about the shoes. I had new Astros this week, bought brand new, with tags, on Vinted. They were a bargain. The only catch? They had someone else’s initials on them, A.A.E. They’re mine now though, because there’s no way I’m paying retail. And if I ever win the lottery, I won’t tell anyone, but there will be signs.

Anyway, early in the game I scored what I thought was a perfectly good goal. The umpire decided it had come off my foot. It hadn’t. It was the opposition’s foot. He was understandably confused, my shoes were not my shoes. I suggested we settle it over a post-match beer, but the offer was politely declined. The goal was, sadly, not awarded. Hey ho.

Not to be deterred, I soon scored again, this time confirmed and allowed. Balance restored.

Emily Mac was excellent throughout, sending a beautiful ball across the D for Ros to tap in. 2–0. Smooth, calm, clinical. Proper team hockey.

Chelmsford eventually pulled one back after a string of short corners, but we kept our shape and composure. Then Emily stepped up for a short corner and absolutely smashed it, straight hit, clean as anything, unstoppable. She was calm, confident, and guided the forward line brilliantly, keeping play structured and positive.

I even managed another one, or at least I thought I did, but apparently the umpire said it came off my knee. Another body part that has now scored a phantom goal I did not feel. At this point, I started to think the shoes were haunted.

Our fourth and final goal came from brilliant link-up play between Lois and Alice, who slotted it home beautifully to wrap things up.

It was a gritty, brilliant team performance. Everyone put in a shift, Anna was fierce in midfield, Ali was composed in goal, and the back line delivered a true defensive masterclass from Aimee and Ali, with Megan strong in the defensive D as well.

Players of the Match: Aimee and Ali, calm, commanding, and outstanding in defence.
Dick of the Day: Alice, for turning up unannounced, causing chaos, and scoring anyway.

A proper 4–1 win and exactly what we needed. More than anything, we’re playing with joy again. We really missed Jen, can’t wait to have her back next week.

Who knows where I’ll end up playing, maybe in goal, maybe the men’s 2s, maybe still in someone else’s shoes.

Oh, and just in case she hasn’t mentioned it yet, Ros scored a goal