Today’s episode is not a conversation episode. No interviews, no reflective chats, no post match wisdom. Just a match report for one of those games.

You know the type.

The unofficial theme of the day was time.
Time passing.
Time questioned.
Time debated.
Time apparently being everyone else’s problem.

From the moment the opposition arrived, we were informed that it was a very early game for them. Thank you for sharing. We absorbed that information. We carried it with us. We were reminded of it frequently.

Ironically, avid listeners will remember that earlier this season this exact fixture started almost an hour late. Yet today, time was suddenly sacred. Precious. Fragile. Under constant threat.

The game itself was scrappy and stop start. One of those matches where rhythm never quite arrives and when it does, it immediately gets interrupted. We had chances, we created moments, but today just wasn’t the day the hockey gods were on our side.

We did, of course, have a goal disallowed. Naturally. It would feel wrong if we didn’t.

Darcy did get on the end of a very good one and finished it beautifully. This then became a discussion. A long discussion. A discussion that required additional time, further time, and some bonus time for good measure, as their captain attempted to contest a goal that had already happened.

There really didn’t seem to be anything they couldn’t argue about. Decisions, restarts, positioning, time itself. If there was a moment of silence, it was quickly filled with commentary.

Even when they picked up a green card for having too many players on the pitch, a rule that remains unchanged, there were still objections. Eleven still means eleven. Time does not alter this.

Ali had a huge game in goal, throwing herself into one on ones and pulling off outstanding saves. Full commitment, full stretch, absolutely no regard for personal dignity. Diabolical scenes in the best possible way.

The umpires were excellent throughout. Calm, consistent, and impressively unbothered despite being questioned repeatedly. A reminder that patience is a skill.

Player of the Match went to Aimee, and quite rightly so. Top class defending, solid throughout, and quietly holding everything together.

Dick of the Day went to Lexi, who earned the Mr Tumble hat after taking a spectacular tumble. Full commitment. Gravity remains undefeated.

As the clock ticked down, the fixation on time somehow escalated further. Post match complaints about how long teas were taking were followed by a request for takeaway containers.

For clarity, the clubhouse is not a drive through.
Teas are teas.
Time continues to pass.

The game finished as a 4–1 loss. They sit one place above us in the table, helped by having played an extra fixture. Time, as ever, will sort the rest out.

Next week we have a rest, which feels extremely well earned.

Enjoy your Galentine’s.
Enjoy your Valentine’s.
Enjoy the nation’s collective day of love.

Stay promiscuous.
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.

We’ll see you all in two weeks.

This is Spicy Spicy,
Episode Fourteen,
The podcast nobody asked for.

Shireen